tehee~ a very silly question since I knew exactly what will I write-that's one of my thousand reasons here.
and well~ where should I start this.. blabbering?
first of all. I'm not alone. you all really should know that I'm not thaaat desperate to write some sad and frustating blogs. no, no, I still have my beautiful life and I'm not that emo to kill my self after I write this one.
no.
*sighs*
well I'm alone. you can say that.
but no.
I still have my lovely friends and beloved boy.
but yes.
sometimes, that does not enough.
I need more.
but I dont know. I really dont know what exactly do I want?
and I really dont know what do I feel.
is it sorrow?
is it sadness?
loneliness?
I dont know.
just.. I feel a lil jealous when I saw my other friend's families.
you know, that kind of happy family.
well, yeah I know they have their own problems but.. at least they are happy.
they have each other and yeah.. it looked like they are comfy with each other presence.
gah!
what am I talking about?
I'm talking about my family.
oh.
I dont know if I still can call it family.
but since we dont know how to say it other way, so yeah it could be a parable.
family.
yuck.
I hate that word.
what does it mean?
okay it has been 5 minutes and still I cant seem to find the answer.
what is the meaning of that 'family'?
a place where you call home? it could be. well maybe in my case, no! no! no!
a place where you feel safe? not for me.
a place where you.. you.. you.. GAH. WHAT IS IT?
if the meaning of family is A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GO HOME WHENEVER, AND FEEL SAFE IN IT. AND ALSO FEEL COMFORTABLE.
THEN IT MEANS I DONT HAVE FAMILYYYYYY!!
but maybe I have.
my friends :3
and my boy <3
OH HOW FRUSTATING.
I hate my so called family. I hate it with passion.
I wish I could switch place with someone who has better family.
how I wish that.
just give me a patient mommy. and A RATIONABLE DAD.
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